Experience For An Interview

So say, you’re finally finished your courses, your diploma, your degree, now you want to join the working world. Well, it’s not that it’s going to be hard or easy as what they always do tell you in the forums or by your lecturers, it’s some thing which one have to experience.

Though some pointers can really be touched upon as you shouldn’t say this and that, but to what extend if you’re someone who doesn’t really talk much. Well, that’s why I am trying to point this out, sometimes one needs experience when going for an interview.

So you got your first job, but how did you get to go in? Friends? Related family’s business, does this ever help you in another job interview I supposed. Well, it does help with the ever growing knowledge one gets when they faced their ever colleagues or sometimes annoying customers. For someone who’s been very well versed in an interview timing, here’s what one should do, when you’re getting ready for an interview.

Interview With The Fat Bastard

GUYS

  1. Guys please don’t go there as a ruffian wannabe and keep your elbow off the desk, some interviewers perceive this as rude.
  2. Always comb or gel your hair. It doesn’t have to be neat but as long you take the trouble to look neat and even get your hair in a perfect style, then it’s presentable. Well, if you’re bald, then this doesn’t apply to you.
  3. First Impression counts, and that’s what the above rules are there for.
  4. Make darn sure your clothes are ironed. Even if you found out that the company you went for is donning t-shirts during working hours, do not dress in a t-shirt.
  5. You have big muscles, you have hairy chest, you want to show them off to the interviewer… please…. don’t do that unless you’re auditioning for the National Zoo.
  6. While sitting on the chair, don’t fidget with your fingers, keep them still and if you like to move them, just put them in your pocket and play yourself.
  7. Never ever shake your legs while in an interview. Guys like to do this. What the fish man…. you guys have itchiness down there that you need to shake your legs???
  8. Look at the interviewer, he’s giving the questions, statements, pay attention. Of course, don’t blink your eyes like you wanna have a hit on the interviewer even though if she’s a hot chick.
  9. If you have your mobile “daigor” phones, please shut it off, or just put the vibrate mode and vibrate your cock.
  10. Never ever hit on the female interviewer. (You can do that after you secure the job though).

Fuck You Interview

GALS

  1. Gals, you just have to flaunt don’t you, well… flaunt moderately. Why?? What happens if the interviewer is an old aunty.. you’re dead meat.
  2. Dress appropriately to the place you’re going to be interviewed. Don’t dress like a model if you’re looking for a job as Software Engineer. Bad choice….
  3. As much as most people say, office wear for an interview is still the best apparel. Don’t believe me, you can ask Lasker.
  4. You got your Gucci bag. Now you have your special colorful bra that you’re wearing, try not to nosebleed the interviewer or the interview would be haywire.
  5. Sit like a lady, don’t open your legs while sitting.
  6. Never try to act cute or innocent in front of the interviewer. You’re interviewing for a job, not a date. You want to speak soft or act cute, look for me. I’ll be glad to entertain you.
  7. Don’t finger your hair, or play with your lips, you’re not auditioning for America’s Top Model.
  8. Do not wear too bright a color for an interview.
  9. As always, do not crossed your arms showing you’re the lady boss, just sit like how a traditional Japanese girl would put it’s hand at.
  10. You just have to read it all over from 1 to 9 again to ensure you read it correctly.

Crazy Interviews

While In The Interview

  1. Always as always, before starting the interview, have a look at the background of the company, at least when the interviewer is talking about something about the company, you can say… ahhh….. I read this on the website of the company regarding this and this. Shows that you’re interested in the company eh..
  2. Some people tend to give blank stare when the interviewer is asking a question. I do it sometimes, but move your eyeballs sometime to show you’re at least still in the real world.
  3. Don’t over work yourself and always trying to be a smarty pants and keep talking great about the company, the interviewer knows you’re just trying to impress him/her. Impress with moderation.
  4. When it’s your time to ask the questions, don’t go asking about your salary, benefits, how many girls or how many guys, does the company have company trips, etc… All these can be asked upon the 2nd time of interview.
  5. Finally you have read my thoughts about how an interview should go, so pack your bags, and remember to keep this with you.

Now it seems that’s all it takes for an interview to be perfect. Not quite, sometimes it’s never too easy to talk like a natural. It’ll take time I assure you. From the first time I took my interview, I was talking all about myself, literally from how old I was, what I love to do, etc. In short words I was talking bullshit to the ears of an interviewer. So just stick to what you want to present for the post of your choice.

An example, if you’re going for an IT job in JAVA, you can say,

Previously in XXX Company I had an experience in Hibernate but due to some performance issues, native SQL was used to run the program.

Now this sounds very good and indeed it has been my normal practice to wow the interviewer sometimes. Although some jobs demand practical examples…

Ikea Job Interview

Okay this might be too much. But well sometimes you even had to take certain qualification tests before you they call you in for an interview. So better get yourself prepared.

Well, not unless you think you think you’re the most suitable person for the job, then you can do the following.

Big Breast Interview

Don’t messed with the wrong board there.
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5 Comments

  1. Hannah July 4, 2008
  2. satkuru July 4, 2008
  3. David July 5, 2008
  4. danielctw July 6, 2008
  5. Angeline July 7, 2008

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