Must A Guy Be Financially Stable?

Something happened in the office today. Well, not really that happening but while starting my desktop in the office, I overheard a loud conversation regarding someone discussing about how some lady rejected a proposal due to the guy being short?

Tall Woman Short Man

Hmmm… did I do a typo? No… I did not!

Sidenote: Before you go on reading, this is a warning that this post is lengthy. Carry on reading if you like it, and then give your comments for more input.

A lady that is approximately around my shoulder length, just blatantly told out in office that she got propose yesterday. O’RLY?? Well, let’s hear the story from what I was able to capture.

This conversation consist of 3 person. Let’s call them Abeng, Ah Lian and Lady!

Lady: I want to share a funny story with you guys!

Abeng & Ah Lian: Waaa… what story? Nice or not?

Lady: Listen right. Yesterday this guy who I have been seeing all these while finally propose to me.

Abeng & Ah Lian: Oh… good wor.

Ah Lian: So sweet.. so what you do ah?

Lady: I rejected him.

Abeng & Ah Lian: Waaaaa huh???? O_o

Lady: You know right, I am okay when I come to dating with him, but then this thought have come to my mind these days. The one important reason was that he was shorter than me. I cannot really seem to accept that.

Abeng: Well… Well… Well.. so girls really do prefer their man to be taller.

Lady: I cannot imagine the horror when I wear high heel shoes. It is like as though I am bringing my younger brother out with me. I love to wear high heels and being with him, I refrained from doing so that at least I would not dwarf him.

Abeng: Hmmm… true true. Somehow I agree that the guy must be taller. (Somehow being supportive and sympathetic)

Ah Lian: True also. I used to date a guy who was shorter than me. He is kind of good, kind, nice to talk with. Only problem is because I cannot accept one who is shorter than me.

Lady: See…. Ah Lian also agree right? The man might be nice, charming but somehow in my mind, I cannot seem to accept it. At first his family already thought I gonna accept it, but it looks like there would not be any ceremony anymore. I am sorry for the guy though, I should have told him earlier when I was going out with him.

Conversation died off~~~~ as my boss came in and I discussed some problem.

Analysis

Well, what can I say, it looks like height is still a lingering factor when choosing a person as one’s husband for a girl. Rather maybe it is for this person. Many girls out there did say that they are not bother by their boyfriend’s height, that feelings are more important. We all know that, well, that is what most of them say.

Here is how I break it down. This is more like an analysis after observation. Here is a girl.

Age 15
I love him. I feel safe and he is so cool in front of all his friends. He is famous, he looks good too. I bet the other girls are jealous of me.

Age 18 – 23
He looks so cool. Our feelings are deep. Nothing can separate us. Feelings are what brought us together and it shall be.

Age 25++ till early 30s
I want a man who can give me security. If he has no money, why should I carry on my relationship with him? Who will support our future then? What happens if my friends ask me what my boyfriend worked as? Will I be able to rely on him in the future?

Love Scene

Breakdown Analysis

Alright! I am sure some of you can relate that this is what actually is happening. How would I know? I am guy right? Yes, I am a guy but then I used to ask this question on a few people of different age group as to why you love your other half. Then I ask, if your boyfriend is not well to do when other friends are well off with their successful boyfriends, would you feel inferior?

Girls below age 25 tend to say, “No. We were made for each other. No matter what happens, my feelings for him are real, nothing can separate us.”

Girls above age 25 tend to say, “If I really with this guy, I will give myself some time to see if he in the future will have the quality to get better and perhaps be successful in what he is doing. Of course, all I ask is that he is confident in his job and someone that I could rely on in times of need. Well, every girl wants a guy who has enough income to provide for their needs. I do not want later that I have to starve and later be unhappy for choosing the wrong guy. I want the right guy, well, as long as he can provide me with substantial financial means.”

Ohoho!! The above are good points. I can sense some girls might agree, some girls might not agree. Contrary to the above, guys would tend to agree that this is how a girl thinks. Based on this belief, you can see that is why guys are always working to get higher pay, sometimes sacrificing most of their time in the office. Well, as a man, we always strive to chase for success, sometimes habitually, we have that thinking capacity of being too practical (somehow girls don’t really like this, but a guy being practical ensures that things go on)

money keep falling on my head

What can I say?

I find that as people mature and start learning about how tough the world outside, their perspective of life changes. While being young, feelings are all that is enough to one. As they grow older, many felt that sense of security is more important in developing a healthy a smooth going relationship. Feelings will still be there, but it must come along with the package of being substantially financially stable. Also it is not all that one person should be handsome, good looking, well built. Why? The answer is simple, really. The “ugly” men are in fact attractive to the women, BECAUSE they treat them right, have great senses of humor, DON’T obsess over working out and being attractive. They spend all that time on their women.

Let’s have a look at a testimony of one user.

It all goes back thousands of years ago, longer. A woman needs certain things: to feel safe, protected, guarded, financially secure, good breeding traits for future offspring. So, the bad guy attracts her because the deep voice initiates a sexual response without her even knowing it -signaling to her he can be loud, deep, strong and all that.

Girls like guys who are physically fit, handsome for two reasons: good strong handsome children can be made, strong men usually dominate over weaker men, and attractive men go further in society, always been that way, for the most part (they get a better shot at better jobs). Girls prefer men who have money, because that gives them another sense of security and feeling safe. But I disagree when you say they don’t want intelligent, nice men. That’s not true.

They want all the things I said above, but most of all; they want to know DEEP DOWN that the MAN is in control. Now days, men try to show that by hitting, verbal abuse, living off their womens income, etc. But what a man has to do is be kind, polite,provide all of the above, but also never take any crap from his girl. Draw the line, firm. Show them who’s in charge. And DO the things men should do! Fix broken things, stand up for them when needed, work and make money and well, I could keep going, but you get the idea

Anyway let us go back to the case of the lady who wants a taller man. What do you think of this scenario? Is it true that most girls wish their man were taller than them?  Can one just reject someone after dating so long because of their height?

I feel sorry for the guy who felt that everything has been okay all this while until when the girl rejected his proposal. I bet that she did not say the real reason to this person and he must be wondering what wrong he did and felt that he is not good enough. For such a stupid reason which that guy does not know, he thought of a lot of things as to why this relationship is not working only to not realize that it is all due to that girl’s preference of height.

What say you? Like some people say, girls are manipulative. O’RLY? I can go on about lots of example while I was studying in college, and tell you my experiences about how manipulative during college years but then; I believe that would be good for another time. Well, I am sure of that. Till next time.

For some looking into some real life testimony about height issue, here is one from a person call Sweet Dee. Below are the main excerpts.

The first guy I actually dated was 5’5 when I was 5’9 in my junior year of high school. Dating someone shorter than you takes a lot of confidence for both people involved when the girl is taller. I think that’s ultimately a big part of why we broke up, self confidence that is.. not necessarily the height issue. That short guy was convinced that I could do better than him, and told me that so often that I eventually believed it. It only took me a year to see that.

After dating the shorty, I ruled out all guys under 5’10. Lately though I’ve been wondering if I need to rethink that. I feel like I’ve made some progress in dealing with my height based insecurities. Finally I just had to decide to stop caring about what other people think. Heels are my favorite part of every outfit and I make no apologies for that. I actually like the way I am now. Sure it’s a little annoying to see people smirk as I strut down the sidewalk in 4 inch heels next to a man who would clearly still be shorter than me even if I cut my feet off, but I’m really starting to think that sticking to the basketball player height group may be severely limiting my dating pool. I think it might actually be time to reconsider dating shorter men.

Anyway no matter what one thinks, everyone is different. This is just a guide and some analysis to look at.

5 Comments
  1. February 10, 2012
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  3. February 13, 2012
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